Is chivalry dead & buried in 2022? Dead or not, was it as admirable & venerable an attribute as we like to reminisce? Do ‘chivalrous’ values even hold a place in modern society?
Well, chivalry was initially conceived in the Middle Ages as a gender-based code of ethics. The Song of Roland 17 Guiding Principles was composed to keep the rabble-rousing knights-errant in check between waging wars. To be a respectable knight – or ‘gentleman’ – you followed the code. Today, chivalry is less about keeping a man’s violent tendencies at bay: rather, by modern standards it is more commonly associated with a man opening a door for a woman; standing when a woman enters the room; or, volunteering to pick up the check at a restaurant. Irrespective of what it means, if not completely dead, it is generally agreed that chivalry has waned in recent times, which leaves us asking the question: ‘where did all the gents go?’
Firstly, considering what chivalry means today, long-gone are the days when damsels in distress needed rescuing from fire-breathing dragons or impossibly high castle turrets. Accordingly, for those well-meaning men among us who may still want to embody the much-romanticised gallantry & magnanimity of the medieval knights, there is still much confusion about how to reconcile chivalry with gender equality. For example, (a question posed here, in particular, to any female readers of this article): does a man’s insistence on paying the check feel patronising? Similarly: might opening a door for a woman be interpreted as inherently sexist?
Perhaps chivalry – whether medieval or contemporary – is not the behavioural ideology men should be aspiring to emulate after all. But, before we dismiss chivalry altogether & send it back to The Dark Ages along with Flat-Earth Theory & corporal punishment, is it possible there are some lessons we can learn from chivalry of the past to create a new philosophy befitting the times; and, bring the gents back!
Conceivably, any proposed ‘Neo-Chivalrous Philosophy for the 21st Century Knight’ could have altogether less to do with how men treat women: rather – dispensing with traditional gender roles entirely – it might encompass how we all treat each other. In other words, a man may perform a kindness for a woman, in the same way that a woman may perform a kindness for a man. For all female readers’ consideration, it is this writer’s hope that recalibrating & rebranding chivalry in this way might help to redress any incompatibility between it & equality. For all aspiring male ‘Neo-Knights’ in the audience, it is also this writer’s hope that any new or adjusted code helps to instil some confidence, such that a new wave of gents might proliferate chivalrous acts of compassion without fear of causing a woman any insult or offence. Accordingly, ‘Neo-Chivalry’ might just be the answer we need to reaffirm the benefits of a collective social code; and, to quash any future proclamation that ‘Chivalry is Dead!’
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